When it's time for a change, it's best not to go it alone.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
Do you ever mutter that line to yourself when you’re finally closing your computer at the end of an interminably long day? Maybe it crosses your mind and your heart on Sunday night when you’re thinking about all that awaits you in the week to come. Perhaps it’s a whisper that wakes you up in the middle of the night.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
I know that line. And I know how I denied it, pushed it away and worked myself silly so that I would not have to pay attention to it. Because the thing about that line is, when you hear it, when you let the clamor of “doing” subside long enough to hear your highest truth, you might tremble to recognize the full force of its meaning.
“It doesn’t have to be with this,” means something has to change. And that can be flat-out terrifying. Simply acknowledging the need for change can feel like coming to the edge of a cliff overlooking a bottomless chasm. Alone.
When I worked as a mid-level manager in a large corporation, I was squeezed by the pressure – demands from senior managers; managing a team and external partners; striving to meet client requests and shareholder expectations; and keeping up with an ever-changing industry. I felt like the walls were constantly closing in. And today, we layer the pandemic onto this scenario. The stress for many can be unimaginable.
In my case, I would leave the office at 7 or 8 o’clock at night, walk to my car, and hear a silent mantra with every foot fall, “It doesn’t have to be like this.”
The voice of my truth became so loud that I could no longer ignore it, but I didn’t know what to do. The urgency was rising, and I didn’t know how to change. I also didn’t know who to ask for help.
So I just kept doing what I was doing. Working to the bone. Feeling squeezed like a lemon. Dancing as fast as I could. And I ended up burned out. Not once. Not even twice. Over the course of my career, I burned out three times.
That’s not the path I wish for me, for you, or for anyone.
Since my last and final burnout, I’ve spent five years diving deep into an investigation of where things went south for me and what I could have done differently. I’ve been looking at where I could have made incremental changes to create a different outcome. I've been revealing the blocks and barriers to an experience of vitality, joy and meaning at work.
As I've gotten to the heart of the issue, I have been able to see that it was, in fact, all about my heart. My heart, my relationships, and – amazingly – my communication.
I’ve come through to the other side, and I could not have gotten here without the love, encouragement and tireless support of friends like you. You stretched out your hands to me when I was in my darkest, most despairing days. And I’d like to do the same.
I’m here, I'm listening, and I'm inviting you to ask me anything.
I’m answering all questions – big and small.
No judgment, no holding back.
Just my true experience and honest take on whatever you want to ask.
Post in the comments or click here to send me an email and ask me anything about:
By being on my email list, attending my webinars, and engaging with my work, you have been lifting me up. You’ve been listening to me, bearing witness to me on this journey. It would be my privilege to do the same for you. Please accept this invitation as an expression of my gratitude for all your encouragement over the years.
I’m a firm believer that the way forward is through, and the way through is together. I’m so very grateful that we are in this together.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Here you'll find some of my thoughts about communication, contemplation, yoga, life and various other topics. Thanks for giving them a read.